There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
