Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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