We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
