Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
