if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
