halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
