Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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