When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
