i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
