I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
