with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
