you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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