I molested 6 butterflies tonight
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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