I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
