He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
