i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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