Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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