In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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