So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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