Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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