I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
