I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
