You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
