Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Say something about gay babies.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
