not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
