I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
