Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
