you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I love having hate sex.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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