the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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