remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
