I just cut my nipple shaving
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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