Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
