everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
