we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
