woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
