What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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