Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
