when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
