glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
