Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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