she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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