All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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