you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
