are you still at the devil's house?
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
