Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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