we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
