So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
