I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
