The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
