Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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