If i come over, it means nothing
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
