every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
